Jessica's Journey to Kelowna

As my title states, I did take a journey to Kelowna this last weekend. A solo journey. A solo journey with absolutely no cd player. Going through the mountains proved to be a very quiet time for me. Quiet when I wasn't making a lot of noise myself.
It started out with me leaving Linden without knowing how to get to highway 1. So I had to phone my mom. Thankfully she's detailed, so I could easily find my way. I guess I should also explain that I didn't bother to ask any questions about how to get to Kelowna, I had never been there before, and I didn't bring a map. Basically I was the least prepared I possibly could be...although I did have an axe and a first aid kit in my trunk. Never know when you're going to have to chop something down, or sling something up.
By the time I got to Salmon Arm, I figured something was wrong...I don't know why, because I had no idea where I was going, but I just had this sense that I had gone too far. Indeed I had...I had missed my turn ages before, so I backtracked a bit and found myself travelling through a very small town filled with people in motorized carts. It was amazing! They were trailing each other through the streets of Enderby. I locked all my doors and drove a bit faster. I figured that any town that had that many people in motorized carts, also had something creepily wrong with it.
Kelowna was a very intersting city...it is full of men who will shamelessly check out any female, and who hit on any woman that moves. Here is my story: Crystal and I were sitting on a beach enjoying the beautiful weather when two guys went by in a boat, craning their necks the entire time. They had an entire lake in which to boat, but they chose to go back and forth in front of us for about an hour. It didn't end there though. I decided to go swimming, and Crystal was on the beach trying to convince herself to get into the water, when all of a sudden the boat came up behind me and started coming into shore. I lost control and "awkward Jess" took over...she started scampering out of the water, to where Crystal lay laughing hysterically. Crystal then looked at me and asked, "Are you going to be sassy?"
"I don't know..." I replied.
The guys came up as close as they could get and then asked us if we knew of any pub on the lake...Crystal told them that there was on on the other side. Then they asked what we were up to, to which I replied very robotically, "Catching-some-sun".
"Really? Catching some sun?" Crystal asked.
"It was the best thing I could come up with"
All this was happening while the guys were watching us from the boat.
Shockingly, my super lame comment didn't ward them off...rather they asked us, "Want to go for a boot?".
Neither of us truly understood the meaning of the word "boot". I reckon that was just as awkward as my "catching some sun" comment. We very awkwardly declined. Well, I very awkwardly declined. Crystal did so with much grace and poise.
We did meet one guy that wasn't very good with the ladies...we went to a copy shop so that Crystal could get some stuff copied for a book she made. The guy asked her what her name was so she said, "Crystal...C-R-Y-S-T-A-L".
"Yup...C-R-Y-S...", he said, while proceeding to write her name with a "K".
Crystal repeated herself, and so did he, but he didn't change a thing. So then I said, "You're saying 'C', but you're writing 'K'".
Then he says, "Oh, I was thinking of my dog".
Seriously? His dog? Wow...
I pulled out one more incredibly awkward thing while I was there...Crystal was parking and Kyle was directing her from outside the car. I had my window down and I was watching how close she was to the big cement block to my right. They were just about done, so I rolled it up. Just then, Kyle made some loud noise outside so I responded with a very quick motion and turned to take a look and I proceeded to ram my face into the now rolled up window. That became the joke for the rest of the weekend. Whenever someone did something stupid they would say, "Well, it's not as bad as Jess hitting the window". Anything to make people feel better about their blunders.
So, my four days in the balmy tropics of Canada came to an end and I made the long journey home in the silence of my car. Holiday is over. Awkward Jess can now take a break, until something new and exciting comes along.